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Nerves, Who Wins? – 02/10/2017

With the stigma of mental health being tackled in the media, I wanted to take the opportunity to discuss something that happens to a lot of people – both in business but personally too. Fight or flight……ever felt it? Know what I’m talking about? That moment you freeze and so does time, every part of you wants to run as far away as possible, every negative thought possible runs through your head but you know that if you don’t do it, you are letting yourself down inside. It’s horrible, exhausting and sometimes just a nightmare you don’t need.

What makes you have these moments? Is it going to University, out with friends, travelling alone, meetings with new clients, delivering presentations? The easy way would be just to never put ourselves in that situation in the first place. But, who then becomes the loser……you. You lose to your own brain and let’s face it, that’s never a good feeling.

Whatever job you do, whatever role you play, whoever you are………..we ALL have these moments in our lives, some more than others but everyone knows that exact feeling. For some people, this is a daily occurrence and even the most confident of people get them too!

So how do you fight the fear? Everyone will fight it differently. Some work best with distraction methods, some have friends who they confide in, some have professional help but at the end of the day, it all comes down to you. You are the only one who can do it because you are the one with the battle.

People around you may look at you and think that it’s easy, they may think that you’re being a bit of wimp but don’t listen to them. Everyone and I really mean everyone has something they’re scared of. Yes it may not be the same as you but it doesn’t mean they don’t know that sick feeling in the pit of the stomach part of fear. They might be scared of something you do every day and don’t even think about, but to them, it’s huge and makes their blood curdle at the thought.

Whatever it is that scares you, just remember someone somewhere understands because they feel it too. It’s incredibly important to realise that it’s normal to be frightened, it doesn’t matter what the fear actually is, they all count the same. Don’t listen to anyone who laughs at you, don’t even let them penetrate your brain with their negativity, usually people like that are trying to divert the attention from themselves as deep down, they know that actually, they have their own problems and instead of dealing with them like you are, they deflect it. The way someone responds to you is actually a representation of how they feel about themselves.

There are plenty of ways to help yourself, there are calming techniques such as yoga, and meditation that help you to relax the mind and find positivity, there are books and apps that can help too. Of course you can always speak to your GP and be referred to services such as “Let’s Talk” and if you feel it will help, there is medication too (on advise from your Dr)

It’s important to acknowledge fear, it’s important to not bury it and instead deal with it, however daft or silly you might feel. Find your circle of help, whether that’s through yourself, friends or professionals and know that you’re in for a long and hard road but that there is no greater achievement than passing the finish line at the end. That sense of achievement will set you up for a day of happiness and contentment, it’s just the gauntlet you have to run first!